A letter to my younger self - Dear Keishia...

Dear Keishia,

You're 14 and going through a family breakdown, it's confusing, scary and emotional, but it is okay. Isn't it? You will be fine. Won't you?

You're in a really weird place right now in school, you're not really sure where you fit in, but don't follow the crowd. Why would you? Don't give into the peer pressure. How do you not?

You're starting your GCSE's soon, you're really concerned about how you will do, but don't stress, you can do it. Can't you? You won't fail. Will you?

You've met a boy, this is your first proper interaction with a boy, but don't move to quickly. Slow down, ok? You're in control. Aren't you?

You're looking in the mirror, you really aren't liking what is looking back at you, but you are beautiful. Right? You are wonderfully made. Can't you see that?

Dear Keishia, 

You are going to be ok, it will all work out in the end. I know that right now, nothing seems to be going your way; but you really will come out of this much stronger than before. Here you are, nearly 25 years old, telling yourself that this will all be water under the bridge, it will just take some time before you finally see that light. Many barriers are in your way but you are working through it, you have the support and the love around you, even if you don't feel it.

Your family breakdown was horrendous and you really didn't think you would ever be able to deal with the fact that you no longer had a father figure present, especially a father figure that didn't want anything to do with you, but, you did it and it worked. Living in a single parent family worked and you love it, even though you thought it wouldn't. 

You made loads of friends during school, sure, it took a while; but you made a mountain of friends and you still keep in contact with many of them and made many more after. They held you up when you couldn't do it yourself.

Guess what? You passed all your GCSE's with flying colours and went onto pass your A-Levels and obtain a university degree. The hard work and stress paid off. You did it, I told you that you would. 

The boy was an idiot, but of course you didn't know that at the time, you dated him a little while after meeting him, for a long time and you lost control; don't stress though, it's all part of growing up, you need to learn and grow from your mistakes. I guess you could say you were clouded by what you thought was "love". You live and you learn.

So listen, the confidence in yourself and how you look is still a work in progress, but you are getting there, one step at a time, one day at a time. You have your good days and your bad days. Days where you sit on Instagram and fixate on what could be and what you wish you looked like, and days where you embrace what you are and what you have, and own it. (These days are more irregular than the others, but you still have them.)




Finally, Keishia. Please, relax, take time out for yourself and your own well-being, because it is so important. You let your mental health take over and effect your every day lifestyle. Rest, Talk more and seek support from professionals. 

You've got this.

Future Keishia x